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Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Jill Stoller

Posted on April 27 2019

In 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month[Proclamation 5890]. Tragically approximately a million pregnancies yearly in the United States end in early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or the death of the newborn child.

I thought sharing my personal journey with you would help you get to to know me a little bit more.

When my husband and I decided to start a family, it was pretty picture perfect. I got pregnant right away and had the most amazing pregnancy. (Labor…now that’s a different story that I’ll save for another time!). Lillian Jane was born July 8th 2012, weighing in at 9 lbs! My big baby girl was beautiful and healthy. I felt so incredibly lucky and so incredibly blessed.

After a couple of years passed we decided it was time to expand our family and because of the ease of my pregnancy with Lillian I was confident that things would be the same…that’s where I was wrong. Over the next 3 years I had 4 miscarriages, one right after the next, each one harder than the last.

Each time I found out I was pregnant I became more and more nervous. I was scared at every doctor appointment and every day leading up to the appointment. With two of my pregnancies I was able to see and hear the baby’s heartbeat and each time that happened I kept thinking that this little one would make it…that this would be the baby to complete our family, that this baby would make Lillian the best big sister I knew she would be and that she wanted so badly to be. I so badly wanted that for her and for us.  I prayed EVERY SINGLE DAY & EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for these babies.

Nothing prepares you for the way you will feel when this happens. NOTHING! So many questions-Why me? Why does this keep happening? The feelings you get when you see another woman pregnant and you long to be her.

All you can do is pray. Pray for strength to get out of bed. Pray for strength to be there for your family when your heart feels completely broken. Pray for the women who are experiencing the same thing you are. Pray that each pregnant woman doesn’t have to experience the pain and guilt you have experienced. Pray for the women who are desperately wanting to have a child and are having difficulty.

For those of you who have experienced loss, you are not alone. For those of you longing for a family, you are not alone. My advice (which was given to me by one of my best friends) DON’T GIVE UP!

I am now at peace with God’s plan for me and my family. I feel so incredibly blessed to have my daughter. Everything I do is for her. When Rita approached me about starting a girls clothing company that would inspire and empower young girls, I jumped at the opportunity! Having Lillian see me pour my heart into a company with a purpose, where we get to create and design, where we get to help promote faith, love, & hope makes my heart full. I am thankful she gets to be a part of this journey with me. 

Jill

 

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